Let me introduce him. I call him Damon here and he is 32 years old, his looks is ok, but definitely not sexy/hot what I am actually looking for.
He seems awkward when you meet him the first time and for a man, his hobbies are extraordinary (he likes to make his own soap and he is doing yoga). Just to make it clear, I am not judging here, I was actually very surprised and I like it that he is so different.
Sometimes he goes shooting (is definitely on my bucket list) and the other day before he started to withdraw himself, he offered to take me with him. I was sooooo excited. I think, that may not happen with him, but I am so going to do it.
He works in the medical field and decided to go back to school to get a better paid job. This was the reason why his long term relationship got ended, because his girlfriend had the feeling, her needs would not be fulfilled. I guess she was ready to marry and get a baby – understanding because they were together for 7 years.
I went to college to be able to volunteer in the medical field and to finish the education I needed some patient contacts, where I met him. He showed me a lot and taught me a lot too. He took his time to explain things to me and I felt safe right away. The day we first met, was the day he slept the first time in his new apartment and was actually late for work – that made him likable.
When we did not have any patients to treat we were talking about our life and shortly before I needed to leave (I have a full-time job) he asked me if I would like to clean his apartment to earn more money beside (it was totally awkward but he was nice so I agreed).
He walked me to the elevator and gave me his number and returned to his work.
I drove home got coffee to survive the afternoon and evening and texted him right away. I am clumsy and I thought when I text right away he is the one who need to make the next move.
It worked late afternoon he texted back so we got to know each other better.
I had a rough past, that let me distrust everyone so for me it was clear, I am not going into a strangers apartment and I told him that. So we met up and it was a great day!
We found things we both like (meat lovers), he educated me regarding vitamins you can buy in the store, that 90% of the ingredients are not vitamins at all and mostly actually dangerous for your health, because there are no regulation for producing vitamins. I was shocked and I think you are now too. While we were talking his human shell disappeared, he looked very attractive and shiny. Never saw someone shine brighter then him (he had an orange, green and purple aura).
That was the one and only meet up we had. It has been few weeks now, he totally withdrew himself does not want to meet up or text properly, because he wants to feel lonely and he wants to suffer from the break up.
He made it clear that it has nothing to do with me. Few days earlier of today I texted him (I felt really crappy, I felt sad and angry, pushed everyone away, I was moody and frustrated) He actually said he would offer me company but it would not be good for him.
I was confused. Am I not good for him? Is my mood not good for him?
I asked and he told me he does not want to make a move on me. (he is honest and that is very important for me so I am thankful for that).
He left me and pushed me away. I am suffering more then I ever had of being pushed away. He was my magnet and still is , I am drawn to him and being apart makes me feel sad and moody. The emotions and the pain of my soul starts to wrap around my whole body.
I feel physical pain and every time I need to drive through his town makes me gag, but brings back the joy of being close.
How did I find out that this might be my twin flame? I asked some white witches around me and told them about my very intense feelings, which do not make any sense, because I met him once.
Willow gave me the advice to look it up and read every article I can find and I did.
I was speechless but happy. Finally I figured out why I feel the way I do.
Honestly I do not see any future with my twin flame, because soon we are living on two different continents, because I need to go back home to Austria. It might be better to keep the distance and move on, but I know that with him, I would be able to start trusting men again and I think he is important for my future.
Do I see it as a curse or am I thankful?
I am not sure, but I know that the twin flame will appear on your path, only if you are ready for it. It says, that you need to grow and get some mental stuff done (in my case living the forgiveness) before you are ready for it. It may takes a few human lives to full fill the requirements.
I found a way to protect myself of this connection, which obviously is painful for me. You can literally turn it down, the same thing you do with ghosts or spirits you do not want to see. Of course it is not gone completely, but it makes it endurable.
He said he will text me, as soon as he is over feeling lonely. I am waiting till then and I will keep you posted as soon as something new established.
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